CuervoGold
The evolution of CuervoCon.
Press Release
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
San Antonio, TX December 13th 2006 - CuervoGold Invitational Inc. today announced that Cuervo Gold III Invitational will again be held in an unnamed exotic Mexico town. Cuervo Gold, now in its third year, will be held in safe, clean, world class resort towns at all inclusive resorts. Currently Cuervo Gold is invitational, and plans on remaining that way to weed out the undesirables, such as old losers like alatar, and new losers like bluknight. We aim to achive a drama free, dumb ass free environment that is comfortable for everyone involved.
Unlike CuervoCon, Cuervo Gold is not held in dirty Mexican border towns. Our theory is, if it is your idea of fun is hanging out in a shitty border town, drinking shitty beer, and fucking 5$ whores, then CuervoCon is the con for you. Contact Jefe@reject.org about the next CuervoCon, tentatively scheduled in 2020 or when someone gets off their ass and organizes it, whichever comes later. Howerver, If you think that border towns suck, have matured a little in the last few years, are an adult with a job, and you aren't a complete tool, you might be interested in a more grown up con, Cuervo Gold.
Registration is currently closed.
Where: Unamed Mexican Five Star Resort Area When: If you were attending you would know, but it is soon. Who: People who dont suck, and can afford to go. Duration: 5 Days (weekends are for pussies, wage slaves, and people afflicted with children) Cost: You pay travel and airfare, and conference admission is, of course, gratis.
Special thanks go to the founders of Cuervo Con, for showing us which parts of Mexico that suck, ohh, and for the spiffy name, smewtch. Fond wishes go to the DrFaustus Defcon party coordinators for the invitation only concept. Cuervo Gold doesn't claim to be original, we freely admit to stealing your ideas, combining them, and and creating _THE_ event of the year to attend.
What people are saying about Cuervo Gold:
"We should totally do this again next year, we RULE!" - 2006 Attendee
"...Cuervo Gold is _THE_ event of the year to attend..." - 303 Magazine
"Booze dispensers in the room? And its free? Fuckin SWEEEEET" - 2005 Cuervo Gold Attendee
"WTF! OMFG, I fucking hate those guys, especially shaedow" - el_jefe , CuervoCon co-founder
"Even if I could get invited, I couldnt afford to go, I owe them and all my friends money" - Major, CuervoCon co-founder
"I cant believe they invited my wife and not me!" - Voyager
If you feel like you should have gotten a Cuervo Gold III invitation and didn't, please ask yourself the following questions:
1. Do I suck?
2. No really, do I suck?
3. Is this out of my price range?
4. Is 1/2 of this out of my price range?
5. Do I owe them $2000?
6. Am I a loser who cant ever take off time from work/kids?
7. Am I sure I don't suck?
If you answered "no" to all these questions above and feel you should have gotten an invitation please feel free to email me to be considered for invitations for the next Cuervo Gold tentatively scheduled Oct/Nov/Dec 2007/2008 time frames.
We are also considering having Cuervo Gold 1/2 events in other cities around the US at undisclosed locations and durations throughout the year. These would not be a full blown event, but a more traditional weekend retreat for a select crowd. If interested please contact your favorite coordinator.
Press Contact: Guadalupe Lawnhusemo III, Esq. Cuervo Gold Conference Coordinator
